" Only in the Darkest pit will the Dimmest candle shine brightest. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

I didn't want to talk about the darkest skies revealing the brightest stars or the deepest oceans having the biggest fish. There are plenty of similar quotes in that regard, but what do skies and fish have to do with life? Nothing. (except for holding the clouds up and putting food on the table)

But when you are in the pit of life and all its darkness. It is THEN when even the most pathetic candle shines and lights up your world.

Recently, I was in a break up. We didn't fight but we felt that we were not fulfilling each others desires. Actually, it wasn't even that.

Let me tell you a little bit of a story.

When both of us first started dating it was all for the wrong reasons. In time, we fell in love but we hit more than our fair share of road bumps along the way. I was distrustful and that made me behave possessively, she on the other hand didn't really do much to make me feel as though I was her boyfriend. I felt that she didn't care for me as she should.

So, after all our bumps and bouts of 'disagreements' we finally broke up. Let me tell you, we had lots of problems to sift through but in the end, it was my possessiveness and her uncaring attitude that broke the crabs claw. The straw that choked the donkey so to speak.

So I was driving down a highway one day, it was a day that I was feeling really down because of work, lack of sleep and the terrible feeling of missing my now ex-gf. On top of that I got home and found that I paid my electric bill late and the power had been cut. It was more depressing than I can even explain in words. Nothing was going right and I had no one to share it with.

On impulse I texted my ex-gf. Telling her what had happened and that I just needed someone to tell so I would feel better.

She responded as she would always have. With nice words and that it will all be alright. Normally she would call, but being a gf and being an ex does put some toll booths in the way of conversation. But I was happy to just have that little bit of contact.

I then decided to stay at my sisters place, since there was no point sulking in a dark apartment all alone. On my drive over there my brain started thinking. I had always thought that my gf didn't care. But she actually did. She recently inquired about my dad's health (who is in hospital for something minor), she asked me to make sure I had a good dinner (she knows if I felt lazy I would just grab a burger) and she asked me to have a good rest.

All these things she has always done. And she is still doing it despite her not having to do so. My gripe has always been that when she is out with friends I feel abandoned because she doesn't often text or call me. Worse yet, she initially wouldn't even pick up my calls, making me feel all the more suspicious. It's like I didn't exist I have often said to her. But when I was struck with this 'epiphany on the road' it suddenly dawned onto me that she has actually cared all along. It was ridiculous to think that she didn't care. What was I thinking?

In fact, we had spoken about it before. It's not that we both haven't done our parts, but it was the scarring we received during the initial months of our relationship that has warped our minds to always 'assume' that one party doesn't give a rats ass and the other party wants to lock his gf up at home. Both of which are not true.

We both tried, but we couldn't see past our mindsets and we both broke up as a result. After shouldering so many burdens we broke up for the littlest thing simply because we couldn't SEE that we both had changed for the better and that we both were demanding for things that were already being given. We were just too quick to judge and point fingers during the incidences when either one of us lapsed, we never took the time to recall all the times in which we did the things our other halves wanted because we loved them. There lay our downfall.

Suddenly realizing this, I felt that a terrible weight had been lifted from my shoulders. I felt sudden joy that even after our breakup she still cared so much, and that she always have cared. If only I had really noticed it sooner.

Thank you.

- this Quote and Story is dedicated to FZB.

" Life's Hopes and Dreams are merely manifestations of an overactive Imagination. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

Don't you think it's true sometimes? You know that dialog between the bad guy and the good guy, "More wealth/power than you can ever imagine!" the bad guy says. And the good guy responds, "I can imagine quite a lot."

The better your imagination, the more spectacular your dreams, and the ever more likely you would not achieve them.

Pessimistically speaking.

" Guilt is an emotion, and just like any other it shouldn't be allowed to influence your actions. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

Ok, you guys may be thinking that, "yes, we shouldn't let guilt dominate our lives." "What is in the past is in the past, there is no point in hanging on to guilt."

Wrong.

What you shouldn't do is stop yourself from doing something just because you are afraid that you may feel guilty afterwards. Do what you need to and do what you want to, there is no room for guilt when you feel happy for yourself having done it.

" An Eye for an Eye makes the world all right. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

"An Eye for an Eye" is first quoted in the Book of Exodus. It basically points at laws that deal out equal punishment to the offence caused. If you blind me, you should also blind yourself etc etc.

For example, today I had a meeting which went no where. It was with one of the egoistic fools who works for one of our largest Supermarket chains. His demands we ridiculous and on top of that his word is as law, there is no way to argue or no way to negotiate and since that was the case... I decided; "why should I be the only one to leave this meeting feeling angry when I have no choice but to abide to his demands anyway?"

So what did I do? I pissed him off on purpose by pointing some blame back to him and on top of that I called him impolite for not replying my email. He asked for it, since he said we didn't revert back to him soon enough. I emailed him 3 weeks ago, and he had the nerve to say we should have called if it was important.

"Fine," I said. "But don't you think that it's really impolite not to reply an email, irrespective of whether you agree with the contents of it or not?" I added.

His face immediately turn black. Haha... Score!

This is my story and my take.

Mahatma Gandhi on the other hand preached that "An Eye for an Eye... would make the whole world blind." And he is right, I do not dispute that. But what I DO dispute is this: what is so wrong with a blind world as long as everyone is equal? Equality is what breeds harmony, we aren't talking about the Communist form of equality here, which was obvious not really all that equal at the end of the day.

Anyway, back to point. Are we supposed to turn a blind eye (pun intended) to wrongs done to us? I am not talking about accidents, I am talking about deliberate wrongs. Should we not NUKE an opposing country if terrorize our people? Should we not put fear into their hearts so that they know how it feels like cower in darkness?

If there is no retribution or FEAR of retribution, lawlessness would run wild. If they do not experience first hand what they do onto others, do you think they would stop?

Without retribution, the bad guys will take advantage of the good guys and the world will be in chaos.

As much as Gandhi preached forgiveness (which has its time and place), I preach fairness.

We want people to be good, definitely, and inherently, everyone IS good. That is my belief.

But that doesn't mean that we shouldn't stomp on the bad eggs.

" Bisexuality in Children is the leading cause of Gayness online. " - Rot. in Battlefield Heroes

The Story

Rot. is a Commando in the National Army in the game Battlefield Heroes. (by EA/DICE)

This hilarious quote was made up when both the Royal and National Armies were having good fun 'flaming' each other in 'Seaside Skirmish'.

The Royals (my team) lost that bout :(

" Those with naught a shed of honour or pride will only act with shame. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

This is all about how people with 'no shame' cuts queue.

" Both a Prince and a Pauper would describe wealth in vastly different terms. " - David Alan Bates

The Story

For the first time in my life I have colleagues who are from a vastly different class as my own. I would like to think of my 'social standing' has comfortably average. I don't get to own everything I want, but I do live very comfortably in all respects.

But after 3 weeks in working in this new office, I have come to realise that somethings which I find nothing out of the ordinary is quite beyond the grasp of these colleagues of mine. Well actually they aren't even colleagues in that sense, they are my staff.

For example, I am in the market for a 2nd hand Volvo S40. I expect to get it in the next 6 months or so. It's not often that someone in my 'social standing' would consider buying a second hand car. In fact it is very rare, but the fact that I plan to buy a luxury car of sorts, does make it 'not so bad'.

On the other hand, buying a new car is somewhat out of the ordinary for my staff. During our free time we do often chat about cars; boys being boys :) What I have come to realise is that their budgets are usually around the RM20,000 region, meaning to say even the cheapest national car is out of the question if they were to buy it new.

To them, buying a 10-15 year old Japanese car like a Toyota Corolla or an even older Nissan Bluebird is the height of achievement. Granted, those are good cars, but it's not something I personally would be caught dead driving as my daily car. At least not if I remain in the standing I am now.

All this just got me thinking, my 2nd hand Volvo as compared to a 2nd or maybe even 3rd hand Corolla. We each have a 'standard' which are vastly different, but determined by not only our upbringing but also our level of education and consequently the size of our pay cheques.

But ponder this.

Is it wealth that allows you to buy something better, or is it the DESIRE to buy something better that propels you to look for greater wealth?

A point to ponder.

" If money grew on trees they would be worth nothing. " - David Alan Bates

" Empathy is not about being in another’s shoes. It's about picking it up, smelling it and understanding where it has been. " - David Alan Bates

" Spontaneity is what you call acting stupid on purpose and getting away with it. " - David Alan Bates