The Story
I want to get Bao Bao a nice Christmas gift, something that she would appreciate and something that would glare in her face and make her remember me whenever she sees it. I'm practical that way... (my parents would say I'm mean that way) :)
Anyway, I don't know if I should. I really really want to, but she still owes me a birthday present (we were both dirt poor that month, how I managed to buy her a RM600 digital camera I still haven't found out, but I am still suffering from that purchase) and from how it looks right now I'm not sure if she would still get it for me even though she promised that she would bundle it together with a Christmas gift.
We are growing apart and we only manage to really chat when she has a chip on her shoulder or she needs MY shoulder for support. You have no idea how good it feels to be needed and how shitty it feels when the tears on the shoulder dries off and become unneeded.
So yeah, if I get her one and she doesn't get anything for me not only would I have spent RM200+ (which I am saving up for something secret) and not to mention I have ANOTHER Christmas gift to buy (for someone secret) I would look like an utter fool.
But I really really want to be nice, I want to care and I want to love. But logically I shouldn't. And I want to take revenge for no other reason other than that being in my nature. I want to take revenge for being ignored for not being loved when I think it's my right, and most of all for still not getting my birthday present!
Sigh, how does one do all three. I doesn't seem possible or plausible so I guess it's impossible.
You can still show that you care without burning a hole in your pocket...that way if you don't get anything in return, you might still feel stupid but not poorer...lol
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